I want to stay home. I really do. But somehow, between getting the teenager to work, the four year old to school and OT, and me to my own therapy (which includes, on occasion, knitting at the Starlight Cafe), I end up in the van. A lot.
Sometimes it’s just a distraction from the difficulty of keeping big brother from gnawing off his little brother’s arm, or knocking the head off of another nine iron by swinging it into the 100 year old pillars supporting the porch. And sometimes it’s just life. Appointments, obligations, errands.
Today, when I gave middle guy the run down of our afternoon, he said, “But mom, I just want to go home. That’s too much for me!”
He’s right; it’s too much for anyone. I have to find a way to slow down the attention deficient brain in this head, to quit just trying to get through each day and waiting for the end.
What makes a person able to be still? A skill I’m learning in therapy (Superlagirl, you are not alone!) is mindfulness. I’m supposed to be fully present in each moment, not eating a Butterfinger-crunch pie from Burger King organic hummus with a fork while I drive my kids around town listening to “Another Phonics Rule” and Trout Fishing in America.
So for the first time, I would like to pose a question. How do you make yourself stop and focus? Is there some inner signal that tells you it’s “too much” before you need a straight jacket and I.V. Jack Daniels?
I’d like to learn to stop before it’s too late.