Why Nothing Gets Done

I’m sure my wonderful husband always wonders why the house never looks any better when he gets home from work than it did when he left it. It often looks worse, but never better.

So I decided to keep track today of what goes down.

0700 Baby B climbs into my bed and cries mommy mommy mommy while still sleeping.  Four year old, who’s already in the bed, moves over. Toward us, so there’s less room. Then puts his feet on my head.

0730 Baby wakes up for real and starts clawing at my shirt looking for the goods. I politely refuse to give it up.

0800 B is nursing (I caved – so sue me!) while I catch up on my blog reading and tweets. Hey, hubby – I’m not perfect, you know.

0830 Breakfast for baby. Reheat coffee.

0830 Washing dishes from yesterday.  While filling dishpan (no, I do not have a dishwasher), B drops cup full of chocolate milk.  Half of it spills out, but I save the other half and clean up floor.

0845 Half way through dishes and B drops the cup again, losing the rest of the chocolate milk. Decide today will be a floor clean up day. Reheat coffee.

0850 Throw B in the shower to wash off the chocolate milk. Wait a minute – Ethan was up already and decided to get in the shower with B. How did that happen? I’m confused.

0900 Get back to dishes.  Interrupt dishwashing with a quick Facebook break and to share my doula website.  Need fans!

0915 Decide to make corn pudding for hubby because he loves it so. Turn oven on 400 degrees to preheat.

0930 Four year old Ethan wakes up, I make him breakfast then join him for snuggles in bed with Beckett. Also read David Sedaris on the Kindle.

1000 Throw in a load of laundry, then back to the kitchen. Clean the kitchen, eat my own breakfast of leftover steak and pasta salad. Hmmm…that could explain a lot. Get naked baby Beckett dressed and Ethan too so he will be ready when the “guys” (next door kids) come out. Spend ten minuted sock hunting. Similar to snipe hunting.

1020 Collect dirty clothes from all over the place.  Are the dishes finished? Wash a few more dishes, am tempted to interrupt dishwashing to tweet about the wonderful Neal Boortz (@TalkMaster) whom I’m listening to on WLNI. Ok, yeah. Dishes are done.

1100 Man it’s hot in here. Why is the oven on? Oh – corn pudding!  I crack eggs, start the process, then do…what?

1200 Wait a minute! How did it become 1200?? All I was doing was keeping the Bakugans out of the hands of Ethan’s evil archnemesis Beckett, and making sure Beckett only played with the non-metal cards.  And I did tweet a couple of times, I’m sure.  My god, it’s so freaking hot in here!  Damn – the corn pudding!

1210 Is that someone knocking at the door?  Whose van is that outside?  Oh! It’s my friend Teri with her daughters who are here to help me out today!  Wow! I completely forgot.

1215 Put the dog on the back porch and go out to greet my friend in my pajamas and slippers. Like, with no bra. In public and shit. She has no pride, people!

1230 Leave baby crying (?! he never cries about me leaving) and go upstairs to finally finish the corn pudding and my lord is it ever hot in here.

1300 Corn pudding in oven, blog written, help has arrived and now I’m going to take a nap.

Um, I mean – fold laundry! I’m going to fold laundry!

Sheesh. You act like I never do anything.

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24 Responses to “Why Nothing Gets Done”

  1. woodsyearthmama Says:

    You can do laundry and dishes at the same time??? You are so spoiled not having a well!!!

    Add homeschooling and paper airplane making(100s of them) then subtract spilled drinks and you have my day!

  2. Can’t you do laundry and dishes at the same time in a well?

    • You can do them at the same time in a well, just not with a well. When you do them both in a well, there is a prescribed order:
      1. White clothes
      2. Dish cloths & towels
      3. Glasses
      4. Silverware
      5. Dark clothes
      6. Plates, bowls
      6. Cartoonists
      7. Pots and pans

  3. Sorry, I have almost no time on the net here in London. All I have to say about your blog is Steak and Pasta for breakfast? NICE, and you are my soulmate!

    • I’m honored that you would use up precious internet minutes on me and my little blog. Happy travelling to you, Scott!
      P.S. I’d rather have bacon, but it’s just so much work.

  4. I actually came back at the end of the day to see if you kept going. I guess the rest of your day was just ONE LONG NAP. Aren’t I funny?

    • Yeah. Actually, the rest of my day was laundry folding, cleaning up and cooking dinner. We are eating it now. Nice, huh? Crazy day. I even started prep work for tomorrow’s dinner.

  5. Sounds like the movie script for “Lactating Zombies 3: No Biting.” You make wandering around the hot desert sound inviting. Hat tip to all mommies.

  6. Being a parent is a full time job. I say that with absolutely no experience but I was a kid once and I know how my mother had to chase me around all day. You know things do get done. They may not be the tangible things that we look upon, like the checklist of our lives, but the things you do are more important. So all those hours are things getting accomplished. How’s that for the glass half full, doesn’t that kind of optimism just make you sick to your stomach. LOL.

  7. shuttupjerk Says:

    and this is why i will never procreate 😀

    Thanks!

    (have a great week too 😉 )

    -Rick

    • Glad to have you, uh…may I call you Shuttup? Or is it Mr. Jerk?

      In any event, this is why I decided not to procreate either…wait a minute! Damn! I knew I forgot something.

  8. Brilliantly put. Where does it go??? I really need to clean my house when I get off work. But I probably won’t get to it. Love the lactating zombies. When we do the 48 film competition this weekend, if our genre is horror, I may have to steal that. K thx. Bai.

  9. As long as the blogging is accomplished, all else is secondary. 😉

  10. The time is gone… planning a b-day party for saturday and will have to call invites in stead of send because i waited too long…

    know what you mean.

  11. BKT. Great Post. My wife and I call putting the clothes in the washer and into the dryer but not folding and putting away, “doing the Laun” It isn’t LaunDRY until it is finished. I actually went to a coin op laundry today to do our Comforters in the Transformer size washer. I may do that more often instead of doing it at home. Laundry and entertainment for a few quarters! Wow, what an interesting group. BK, Hats off to your job!

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