Why My Confidence Does Suffer So: 15%


she tries to get things
out of men
that she can’t get
because she’s not
15% prettier

-Richard Brautigan

Somehow I came across this delightful site the other day, and I sat transfixed while clicking on photos of celebrities before and after Photoshopping them into fantasy land.  Just click on Portfolio, then on each photo.  When it pops up, it’s retouched and reverts to the original when you mouse over it.

No one is named, but it’s obvious who some of them are, and I found myself shocked and wondering, “Can you really make Halle Berry and Penelope Cruz more gorgeous?”

Yes.  Yes, you can.

You can make someone who’s a little tubby (in a cute way) a bit tighter and narrower (witness the girl in the purple shirt leaning against the door); you can take someone who has that “rode hard and put up wet” look and make her look thirty-something and wide awake (the pink sweatered hag).

And as a little aside, what’s up with Julia Stiles’s shirt?  I swear to Oz (props, Tannerleah) I hate that if I wore a shirt like that, which has the potential – nay, the probablility – of showing boobage, it would totally be fine, but if I should, say, discreetly sneak a boob out to feed a kid, air raid sirens would sound and everyone would start to vomit from the Oh! Offensive!! 

I confess I’ve longed for the ability to Photoshop my body in real life, in ways that the 30 Day Shred just can’t manage.  But also, I have more important things to worry about.  There was a time that my body and face could get me what I wanted; now I’m stuck relying on my brain, and it turns out, that might be a pretty effective means of getting where I need to be.

Anyway, maybe it should make me feel better about things like my freckles and my less-than-spectacular figure.  I guess I didn’t believe that it’s a never ending thing, this quest for perfect beauty.

And maybe the Brautigan poem isn’t really me, after all.


34 Responses to “Why My Confidence Does Suffer So: 15%”

  1. familynature Says:

    Well, the first thing that comes to mind when looking at those photos is…WTF!! We all know that photos are re-touched but to see the difference like that is shocking!

    And hey, what’s wrong with freckles! I think freckles are beautiful.

    • I like freckles okay, I guess. It’s always something – that’s really all I meant. 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by, and I agree with you. It was shocking how different the photos were! Makes me feel a little duped, you know?

  2. I never come out good in photos anyway, so my Photoshop program would probably crash my computer if I even tried such an ambitious project to enhance myself.

    • Too bad there’s no Photoshop for personalities. I can think of several people I’d try that out on. 😉

      (and I don’t mean you!)

      • I like the “Photoshop for personalities,” quip. Ummm, what could we call that program??? PsychoShop maybe. Over to you BK.

        • I could have sworn I posted a reply to this earlier. How about Idshop? Except most people probably wouldn’t get that I meant “Id” as in the id, ego, and superego. Maybe Psycheshop? But then folks might think I meant Psyche as in Cupid and Psyche. Wait a minute – no they wouldn’t! Most people probably don’t know what I’m talking about ever. Anyway, I think Psycheshop would be better.

  3. I love seeing these folks real. But isn’t this what Cover Girl is for?

  4. The only thing my body and face ever got me, was arrested.

  5. After seeing that, I feel pretty damn good about my photo. Of course, I took about a hundred to get one good one. For the next cover photo, I’m going to take one picture and send it off to those guys to make me look like someone else!

  6. well, that was fun. a few of the guys look really different and one of the girls had her cute little tummy roll completely eradicated. I think the last girl should have kept her freckles. Bet yours are really cute too

  7. thought this vid was appropriate….

    • I love that – weird, disturbing, confusing. I have started buying Dove products because of their campaign for real beauty. I just think it’s a nice idea, and since all beauty products have basically the same ingredients and don’t work anyway, why not?

      • You know what really works the best? And it’s a cliche because it’s true: happiness or serenity or contentment. Your choice.

        • Yeah, I’m working on those things, Pamela. But only for the last thirty years or so, so I haven’t really gotten very far yet. I’ll let you know when I start seeing improvements. 😉

  8. BTW….I found you through Alantru’s Blog! You’ve got a very nice blog!

  9. I just realized it wasn’t alan’s blog, it was the Tom Brady post on TL’s blog. Your comment had me ROFL!

  10. I remember the days of pulling out the boob and shoving it into a screaming baby face. Ahh, the sound of a content baby. I also remember the averted looks and the grossed out teens. Who I hope someday have boobs they can tuck into their enormous sized jeans.

    I still care about my appearance but I don’t fret the way I used to, instead I slap on some tinted moisturizer and go on with my life.

    By the way I think you’re adorable.

    • I hope you aren’t judging me from my banner, since it’s a total fakery. Or at least a misrepresentation. That photo of me was taken twenty years ago. I was playing around with my appearance here and kind of got distracted and left it. But that girl is kind of cute, isn’t she?

      However, I’m much smarter than she was.

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