Arrrr and Walk the Plank and All That

I dropped my son Ethan at preschool the other day and noticed a sign for their summer camps.  Thinking, okay, maybe I can justify sending him for one week so I can get geared up for homeschooling this fall and OMG he will be home ALL.  THE.  TIME.

Each week has a different theme.  The first week is “Under Sea Adventure” or somesuch, which is groovy.  The second week, however, is “Pirate” something-or-other, and I’m like…Wha?

What in the world are we thinking?  Seriously, what the everloving crap?

What do they do in this camp?  Teach kids how to sail with no lights on their vessel?  Instruct them in international shipping routes and schedules for merchant marines?  Do they belay them like up the side of a boat or something so they know how to get on the boats?

And how do you get a preschooler to aim an antitank rocket?  Do you know how unweildy those things are?

I’m surprised they would undertake such a complicated educational experience.  Most of the kids at this school come from money anyway.

Maybe their parents just don’t feel comfortable with the hypocrisy of sending the kiddos to school in little skull and crossbone tee shirts without giving them a sense of the history.

And who knows what could happen?  Their trustfunds could dry up, and they need to have a backup plan.

Times are hard, you know.

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15 Responses to “Arrrr and Walk the Plank and All That”

  1. I couldn’t agree more. Especially with this new upsurge of piracy, it’s pretty insensitive to be so kitchy. If they’re going to do it, they should do it honestly and thoroughly. Probably not appropriate for preschoolers!

  2. Don’t worry about it: once Ethan is home with you ALL.THE.TIME. you can set the record straight. hee hee

  3. These Somalian chaps are ruining the good name of piracy. Going all serious and hi-tech, without a parrot or an eye patch in sight.

    It’s cutlasses for gawd’s sake…not RPGs.

    Granted, they may be more effective than cutlasses, but where’s the style…the romance…the sense of tradition?

  4. Ye be doing the right thing by keeping the lad at home. Buggery is a foul business.

  5. Very bad idea… not the homeschooling part, I was home schooled… I’m talking about the pirate week. My kids saw a guy with an eye patch last year and they curled their little fingers at him and yelled out ( really they yelled this) “AAAAAR I’M A PIRATE!” He wasn’t amused. I rushed their scrawny butts to the car and sped outta there. EVIL CHILDREN !

    • They are evil, aren’t they? Little walking examples of origami sin. Organic sin? Whatever. Seen and not heard is what I always say! Except about my own.

      I’d prefer it if they were invisible, too.

      Except that, I love the snuggles. Oh, the snuggles! And the silly things they say. If it wasn’t for the whole tearing everything apart (like right now, Beckett is pouring a bag of microwave popcorn into the dust pan, and I’m sure his intention is to eat it), they’d be quite delightful. Got to run. Thanks for stopping in!

  6. Maybe it’s actually a baseball training camp given by the Pittsburgh Pirates. In which case, your son will learn which performance-enhancing drugs he can and cannot use in MLB.

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