Twelve Steps Away From My Desk

“My name is Jennifer, and I’m addicted to comment threads.”

“Hi, Jennifer.”

It started innocently enough.

Or not.

Look, I’m a black hole of need, okay?  If some brilliant person wants to throw down the gauntlet and have a little back and forth wordplay, I’m all over it.  I live to be clever.  I need the affirmation that my brain has not, as I previously suspected, turned to mush.

I hit a comment thread and I just can’t let go.

I have even been known to dream about commenting.

I’m sick, I tell you.

I’m walking my dog, pushing the stroller, and all I can think is, “What would the saucy tomato bunny from that comic pulp fiction thread say next?”

I spend 10 minutes or more editing a comment.  If I’m away from the computer for a while, I get edgy and irritable.  My skin itches.  This is a cry for help, people.  I need a serious interventi

um hey. this is barelyknittedtogs or whatever she calls herself daughter. i’m sick of like sitting here waiting 4 her to finish ths whatever thing n i don wnt to sit around herr all freakin day so just like go do somethin else for a while and giv me back my moms for chrissakes.  all this comment anxiety shit is harshing my mellow.

❤ (thats a kiss and rite now it means buh-bye 4 all u old foks who don’t know)


18 Responses to “Twelve Steps Away From My Desk”

  1. The first step is admitting you have a problem, the second step is going back to check the thread and prepare a response…Wait, so I have this horrible malady too. Damn you Jennifer.

  2. Me, I can quit anytime… Yeah… Anytime…

    (Oh look, it’s the three of us… The only thing missing is the church basement. )

    “Hi, my name is Alan and it’s been three seconds since my last thread…”

  3. [dreaming about comments
    threads, that’s kinda bad, how
    about reading a book instead?]

  4. Phew. Okay, some breathing room. There was no sense what so ever behind EMOTOCON 5000 I just like the sound of it. “I like the way it rolls out…” As a super genius once said.

    • Marvelous! Genius, in fact. 🙂
      I LOVE Looney Tunes. I get a little giddy when I see the old “Merry Melodies” intros. Funny – my sons and I were just watching Bugs B. in “1001 Rabbit Tales,” or at least I was. They were jumping all over me like very heavy lemurs. Thanks for the smile on a difficult day to be my kids’ mom.

  5. My pleasure, my friend!

    Got to love the Looney tunes and Merry Melodies.

    Speaking of lemurs: I once wrote for a kid’s show that starred a lemur.

    • Oh, let me guess. Zoboo? I used to watch that with my daughter (who is 16 now). For some reason she lost interest in it. My zoology prof. from college worked summers at the Duke University lemur center, and I visited it one time. Fun.

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