We Are Not Alone (in our messy houses, even if you don’t count the squirrels and the action figures)

Yesterday I got to laugh a bit while taking a break from writing about depression when I came across Her Bad Mother’s post about house cleaning.

I’ve been pretty clear about my skills in that area, but I haven’t been what you might call…transparent.  She posted pictures!

So in a show of solidarity (and maybe just a bit of competitiveness for the “don’t use her bathroom award”) – I’m posting some of my own before pictures, because I plan to fix it.  Soon.  Like maybe tomorrow.  Or the next day.  Or surely by next month.

In fact, I think I will do a video series.  Maybe the pressure of knowing you will be watching me will help me stay on task and finally organize this house.  Or maybe I will end up needing a second zip-lock baggie to hold all the meds.  We’ll see.

Drum roll please…

My back is to this mess while I write.  It's the only way I survive.

My back is to this mess while I write. It's the only way I survive.

The little circle on the table is Beckett’s musical toothbrush.  He likes the variety of leaving it odd places and having me look for it every day.  The string is the remnant of an invention.  No, not the invention, but something similar.  The great big circle is the to-do pile of sewing and paper crafting and other stuff that I want to do but I’m too damned busy taking pictures.

Preschool teacher's nightmare.

Preschool teacher's nightmare.

Here we have a baggie of felt I need to ship for an Etsy customer, and just below that – my kids’ favorite toy.  Tampons.  They were my daughter’s, because for some reason she won’t use cloth pads, but now they are just another weapon in the arsenal of “what can we play next, mommy?”.   The little, tiny circle at the bottom?  That’s my cappucino machine.  You put your appliances where you want, and I’ll do the same, mmkay?

My sacred space.

My sacred space.

This is the cluttered corner of hell peaceful oasis in which I sit when I type all this tripe, since my laptop is unbearably slow now.  Chained to a desktop – can you believe it?  The view on my screen is one of Her Bad Mother’s photos.  And you know, looking at her house I got jealous.  I thought, my house could be that tidy!  Really!  If I just had some help.  And some cute, modern throw rugs.  But what really gets me about her house is the book tossing.  Here, the best my kids can throw is a Richard Brautigan, or a Chuck Palahniuk.  Her kids get Bukowski and Derrida, for crying out loud!  I need to work with them more.

Anyway, the rectangular plastic container holds beans from the great bean extravaganza of 2009.  I should throw them away, but why?  Maybe we’ll use them again.  Next to it is my bag of mother’s little helpers.  All legitimately prescribed to me – and totally ineffectual.  Then some random shit is circled,  and I quit, because there’s just too much to look at here.  Where do I start?  The wine glass from three nights ago?  The paper towels with coffee grounds in the tube?  It’s just too overwhelming.

I think I’ll go tackle a project now.  I feel motivated.  Or maybe it’s tired.  Something like that, anyway.

And in case I need to say it – no, you cannot use my bathroom.


12 Responses to “We Are Not Alone (in our messy houses, even if you don’t count the squirrels and the action figures)”

  1. Love it 😀

  2. I don’t even have children as an excuse – although 2 dogs & a cat & a man tend to mess things up too. I once employed a housecleaning service every 2 weeks & it was Heaven! Then money got tight & eveything got nasty again. Then John got laid off & so now he does some cleaning – Thank God! Our place still smells like dogs, though.

  3. I’m with your daughter on not using cloth pads….actually not using pads at all. Ugh…I hate them. I have been a tampon user for most of my life, but am slowly migrating to using a Diva Cup.

  4. Laughing out loud at the cappuccino maker. And the tampons. YOU WIN.

  5. This post cracked me up! I am SOOOOOOO glad I am not alone in the messy house department. I also have a bag of mother’s little helpers! They Don’t really help though. Lol. Great blog!

  6. Ram Venkatararam Says:

    Shocking really…you need to get a hold of some commercial shelving units and stack things in a way that they are easy to locate and convenient. I have some experience in this area and would be happy to offer my services.

    • I am considering getting some sort of sponsorship deal from Home Despot by offering them my prodigious stomach as a billboard. If that doesn’t work out, Ram, I will let you know. Perhaps we can trade organizational skills for beets.

  7. Thank You!!!! You have put a huge smile on my face. I just moved and cannot seem to get things to a manageble level no matter what. I feel so much better I think I am going to rent a movie and go home push the crap off the couch and watch me a good movie tonight. I am exuhasted anyway! I like the cuppiccino maker in the bathroom I have about three coffee cups in mine right now so maybe I can just skip that and put in the coffee pot next to the towels.

  8. […] I have made no secret of my lack of housekeeping skills.  In fact, in a moment of folly I even posted photos.  Photos, […]

  9. […] finding all the necessary pieces of my cappuccino machine this morning.  As you know, if you read this post, this is no small […]

  10. Amber Morrill Says:

    I have that very same corner in my kitchen! well actually in all corners of my kitchen, maybe if I had a circular culinary space?

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