Oh, the Complexity

Two mommy bloggers I follow both posted some similar opinions on the same day.  Their topics were totally different, but their points of view are the same:  there is no one-size-fits-all answer to any kind of parenting question.

In Misplaced Musings‘ post, the issue was homeschooling, and the question “How do homeschoolers get socialized?” came up.   Well, not just that, but that seems to be the biggest issue opponents are drawn to.  Both sides can often do a lousy job of convincing anyone of their positions.  The same goes for circumcision: is circucision safe?  Should I circumcise my son?   Different women’s feelings were shared  in Finslippy’s video from Momversation.

What I really drew from these was affirmation about the efforts I’ve been making to be comfortable with shades of gray.  All of us want easy answers, we want to be right, we want to be able to say, “I am doing the right thing.”

But Mighty Girl’s Maggie Mason made the observation (and I’m quoting Finslippy here) that often “we feel that in order for our opinion to be right, we have to make sure that everyone who feels differently is wrong.”

I don’t believe my thought processes are the well-oiled machine they would need to be to to make me stand up and say You Are Wrong to someone who disagrees with me.  I am not convinced I have enough brain cells left holding hands to formulate my argument.  I am learning as I grow up not to jump into conversations about certain issues.  I like to stand back and watch and figure out what everyone needs to come away with.  I have considered at times that this makes me a poor debater.  I look wishy washy.  But if everyone leaves a conversation feeling that they were heard, well…that means maybe they’ll be back.

And I’ll be ready.


One Response to “Oh, the Complexity”

  1. Monica Deaver Says:

    Weirdest place knitting according to my 15 year old son would be at his swim meets – he is mortified so I don’t do it if he can see me!

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