Archive for children

Wordless Wednesday: For Maddie

Posted in Wordless Wednesday with tags , , , , , , on April 8, 2009 by Ms. Ex

Hug your children extra hard today, and be very, very glad that you can.

This sweet girl, daughter of blogger Heather Spohr, passed away yesterday.  The March of Dimes works towards healthy births and healthy babies.  Help them win the fight by making a donation in Maddie’s name.

Update:  Many, many people donated money in Maddie’s name, and many more have signed up to walk in her name for the March of Dimes.  Last I saw, over $25,000 had been given.  What a wonderful gesture.  Let’s hope it helps.

Wordless Wednesday: Morning Snuggles

Posted in Wordless Wednesday with tags , , , , , on March 25, 2009 by Ms. Ex
Morning Tuggles

Morning Tuggles

In the morning, the boys and I usually have snuggles, which sounds like “tuggles” when Ethan says it.  I was already up on this particular morning, so they had to settle for each other.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Posted in Motherhood with tags , , on March 23, 2009 by Ms. Ex
Here, mommy, these are for you!

Here, mommy, these are for you!

This child, the one in the picture holding the weeds flowers that are the totality of my lawn, just asked me why there are lines on the Italian pottery bowl he is eating his pizza from.  They are meant to make the bowl look rustic, I suppose, or something like that.

I told him that the person who made the bowl put them there on purpose.

He said, “Is that what God told him to do?”

I am so grateful.  Between the flowers and the adorably simplistic view of a coma-inducing complexity, I remembered why I had children.

For my personal amusement, of course.

Rant ‘n’Roll Will Never Die

Posted in Homemaking Made Easy, Mental Stability, People Are Idiots with tags , , , on March 14, 2009 by Ms. Ex

Here is the run down of my day:

1.  Bread.  In the bath tub.  That’s right, ladies and gentlemen.  Witness:

Lead-Free Bath Toy (but not gluten-free)

I spy a whole wheat, lead-free bath toy (but not gluten-free)

2.  See cell phone.  See glass of milk.  See mom scream.  See that it’s too late.  I am sure gonna miss my milky, qwerty keyboard phone.  This I have no photos of.  It’s just too painful.

3.  Forward calls to house phone.  This requires a call to customer service, which results in idiot-savant Justin (whose name probably really is Justin, since he speaks American English with no discernible accent) quizzing me about the phone number I’m calling from and telling me I am not an authorized user.  He hasn’t asked me for my own phone number yet, even though I specifically told him I was not calling from MY phone.

4.  Trip to Alltel to have an old phone activated: 30 seconds.  Having the call forwarding canceled: 30 MINUTES, and finally – a call to Alltel customer service.  While standing in the Alltel store: Priceless.  *Sigh.*

5.  Then on to Walmart to buy storage bins.  You know, the ones with the little signs over them on the shelves that say, “Don’t Forget the Lid!”  But which lid?  One that fits, perhaps?  No!  That would be incontheivable (ok, is it i before e except after c except when you are altering the spelling of a word to reference your favorite movie ever?)!  Instead, let’s make sure than any bin that’s affordable has no lid anywhere in the vicinity.  And the expensive ones?  Well, those lids don’t fit.

6.  Finally – it’s so late, I go for a cheap and ready pizza.  My total?  $6.53.  This is exactly what he said it was.  So I give the guy $10.03 and watch him agonize  over it as it lay there, all helpless in his hand, at the mercy of the new math.  And then I get back from him – $3.47.

“Um, I gave you three cents.”

“Yeah, but your total was $6.56.”

“If I had known that I would have…nevermind.”  And with a thank you and a big, fake smile, I left.

I think I will take a nice, long bread bath tonight.  I totally deserve it.

The Things We Lose Sleep Over

Posted in Motherhood, Why you should maybe rethink the whole reproducing thing with tags , , , , , on March 4, 2009 by Ms. Ex

Tonight at bed time, these are the questions I answered:

“But Mommy, what if the bugs come in and eat all my toys?”

“But Mommy, can’t we bring the TV back into your room from Ellie’s room because you said you were going to just do it for tonight!  Can’t we just take it?”

“But Mommy, why can’t I just put the waffles on the floor and have them in the morning?”

“But Mommy, what if the squirrels come in through the attic and down into the walls and into the floor between the second floor and the first floor and chew through the wires so our dining room light and the refrigerator and the toaster don’t work?”

Okay, well – that last one really happened, I just thought I would throw it in there.  Sometimes, imagination just can’t top reality.

Ready, Set…Go Play

Posted in Homemaking Made Easy, Mental Stability, Motherhood, Writing with tags , , , , on February 12, 2009 by Ms. Ex

Where did it go?  The discipline, the commitment?

I’m sure forcing myself to write is no more amusing for you than it is for me, but be grateful that you don’t have a small person dumping powdered milk on the floor in retribution for the lack of attention for ten minutes.  And clinging to your leg with the starving child in Africa eyes (Disclaimer: he already ate.  A lot.  Do social service organizations read blogs?  Maybe they should.)

Or maybe you do have that – the child that needs you RIGHTTHISVERYSECONDORHEWILLSURELYDIE.

So for Therapy Thursday, which I never really meant to be a repeat item – go play.

Forget about the grocery shopping, the environment, the dishes in the dishwasher (or, if you are super lucky like me, the sink – because you don’t have a dishwasher).  Forget you need a shower and your hair is a mess.  Trust me, your kids do not care.  In fact, you can use the hair thing for a good guffaw.  Or maybe that’s just me.

Make a crazy invention.  Use up all the tape.  Write on the walls.  Seriously.  Yeah, did I not tell you I have problems?

All those messes will still be there tomorrow.

In my case, probably even longer.

Whistling Already

Posted in Homemaking Made Easy, Why you should maybe rethink the whole reproducing thing with tags , , on February 4, 2009 by Ms. Ex

In case you thought I had lost my sense of humor about the ridiculousness of this life, I give you this:

What happens if you don't pay attention.

What happens if you don't pay attention.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Cool Beans

Posted in Homemaking Made Easy, Mental Stability, Motherhood, Why you should maybe rethink the whole reproducing thing, Writing with tags , , , , , , , on January 19, 2009 by Ms. Ex

As I sit to type this, my 18 month old is being entertained by the 4 year old, who is throwing Boggle pieces at the ceiling vajh./,.

Sorry, one just landed on my hand.  Anyway, he is attempting to roll an ‘E’, at which point  he will be ‘the winner’.

It’s fine, really, since the Boggle frame is filled with yogurt from the last time I tried to blog with them awake.  And no one I know wants to play anyway, since they are sore losers too busy.

So I take a look around my house and I think, how in the HELL does anyone with children ever get anything done??

I realize I have different standards of cleanliness than most.  My canned goods can generally be found under the dining table or in the toy boxes.  Hey, they make good stacking toys and I bet they contain way less lead than the FDA limit.  My Sam’s Club-sized supply of paper towels is balled up in a trash bag because number one son unrolled them all down the stairs.   And there is a chip clip attached to a tricycle with a removeable bra strap.  Also?  Half of a  muffin fell on the steps the other day.  It’s still there.

Even though I would actually prefer to live in a spare, open loft with books organized by color and size and no visible clutter,  I accept that I will never be that person.  I am a slacker / hoarder trapped in the body of an obsessive- compulsive neat freak, and trust me – it’s not pretty in here.  So since I can’t have my space be perfect, I let it go completely.

Right now, the toddler has moved on from the Boggle tossing championships, and is happily taking handfuls of dried beans from a container and putting them into a smaller container.  And by ‘putting’, I mean taking his handful of beans and somewhere in the vicinity of ‘over’ the small container – letting them go.  And missing.  Every last one of them.  And this is a-okay with me.

Because first of all, I was never going to have time to soak those beans overnight and boil them so the whatever-that-enzyme-thingy-is-that-you-have-to-boil-out-of-the-beans is gone.  And then cook them for 87 hours.  And second, I get to write.

Beanie Babies

And before you ask about that picture – yes, that is my bread machine on the floor.  If I can’t clean up that muffin, you really think I have time to put flour and stuff in there??

Anyway, now I have to go.  The four year old came in, saw the beans and said, “YAY, YAY!!”  And now?

It’s raining beans.

Male-Female Relations in a Nutshell

Posted in Motherhood with tags , , , , , , on January 7, 2009 by Ms. Ex

Conversation I had with  four year old E. upon his receipt of an invitation to a (girl) classmate’s birthday party:

E:  Why did she invite me?

Me:  Because you’re her friend.

E:  No I’m not.  Well, I kind of am.  But when Adam and Jack want me, I’m kinda not.  But when she wants me…

I go to her.

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Posted in Motherhood with tags , , , on December 17, 2008 by Ms. Ex

Overheard at bedtime tonight:

E:  Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells,

It’s not much fun to ride and walk a sleigh tonight


Me:  hahahahhaaaahahahhahahah

E:  Why are you laughing?

Me:  Because you are soooooooo cute.

E:  Oh.             Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells…


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