Finally! Scatalogical Saturday Has Arrived

Some time ago, a strange gentleman, obviously not a native English speaker, was kind enough to offer to return to my blog for “Scatalogical Saturday.”

I understand he is indisposed at the moment, but perhaps they have wifi that reaches his cell.  I don’t know.

But in honor of his probable return at some future date, I bring you:  poop.

I have refrained from titling this post with that particular word, in hopes that the pervs who constantly found my “to pee or not to pee” entry will not find this one.

See, I deal in poop.  It’s the currency of motherhood, the end result of what moms do.  My little Beckett, who all day long says, “daddydaddydaddydaddy,” when asked, “Who feeds you?”  Replies, “Mahi.”  That’s what my name sounds like when emanating from a beautiful baby named after a morose playwright.

About the poop:  I am a princess!  I am not supposed to be wiping asses and shaking solids into the toilet!  This is not what Disney geared me up for with all those movies.  I mean, hell!  Even Cinderella didn’t have to touch excrement and she was a flouncing* slave!**

So today, daddy comes in with Beckett and tells me, “It’s a big one.”

*Sigh.*

I plunk him in the bathtub to strip him because there’s just no other way to handle these things.  Ethan, being the odd duck that he is, wants to see it, insists on seeing it.

“Oh my god!” he says, and runs off.

Seconds later, he returns with his camera.

“I’ve got to get this on film!”

I’m betting it will never make the Disney cut.

*Flouncing.  Come on, aren’t you tired of freaking?  And frigging is so last decade.

**I am so not a princess.  I’m not even like a baroness twice removed or anything.  I might be a courtier or even a eunuch!  Or maybe I’m getting my terms confused.  Anyway, just so you know, I accept the shit because…wait for it…it happens.

7 Responses to “Finally! Scatalogical Saturday Has Arrived”

  1. Breastfeeding, knitting, pole dancing, and now poop…this is one stop blogging. Why would anyone go anywhere else for their blogging needs?

  2. What he said!

    *applause*

  3. haha! oh the things i inevitably have to look forward too. maybe i’ll just adopt some kids from malowie that are like 8.

    thanks for stopping by! like your blog.

  4. Ram Venkatararam Says:

    Excellent….told you I would come back for this.

    I’m not sure how I feel about being called “strange” by someone whose family practices pootography though…

    All the best

  5. Poop is a blogging dead end. And if it is your own children’s poop, well then, that’s just sad. There are at least one billion mothers on this planet, this is not groundbreaking information. What’s next? A month of boring posts on vomit and earwax. This makes knitting seem downright riveting.

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